Do you struggle with being honest with yourself? It may be affecting you more than you realize.
When working for yourself and striving to grow as a person, sometimes we come face-to-face with truths about ourselves that feel far too momentous to face head on.
Have you been struggling with this?
If you can say, yes… do you want to get over it and build the business and life of your dreams?
Here’s the deal: If you can’t diagnose a problem properly, then you can’t find a solution!
So let’s help you find that solution.
We’re here to discover how to get over your own bullshit. But it’s all good, because you’re far from the only one.
We all bullsh*t ourselves in some way. If you answered yes, kudos to you for being able to take ownership of the fact that sometimes you stop yourself from going for the things you want, consciously or subconsciously.
I want to encourage you to remember: there’s nothing wrong with you.
Congratulations for being self aware that you are going through some things and want to move past them. Let me tell you, I have so much bullshit I’ve had to get over and continue to get over, and I believe in walking hand in hand to fix that with a community to keep you accountable.
While it’s important to take ownership on what you can do to move forward, you can only do that if you’re willing to ask for help.
Here are some keys listed below that I think can help youon the journey of how to get over your bullshit:
1. Therapy
We’re comin’ in hot! While I am not a licensed therapist, I believe wholeheartedly in therapy and I’m sharing from my experience on how you can get past your own bullshit.
In all transparency, I’m currently in therapy, specifically a form called EMDR therapy that deals with body on a trauma level. I believe having a mental health professional who helps you heal from your past trauma that you may not even be aware of can help you as a person to transform yourself and take risks. Most importantly, therapy can really be a driving force for you to move forward in your life both in the present and future. If you’re being actively held accountable and reminded to work on yourself, you can’t lie to yourself forever!
If you’re not interested in cognitive behavioral therapy, I’m a huge advocate for trying out EMDR. Here is a 9 minute video explaining what EMDR is, or you can read it here.
And here are two ways you can find an EMDR therapist licensed in any state:
- https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/
- You can just enter your zip code
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
- Enter your zip code, and under “types of therapy” put EMDR
2. Learning how to create healthy boundaries
You may notice certain people can trigger your nervous system and maybe even cause you to people please others and self abandon. Remember, when you set boundaries, you can create better relationships and ways for people to treat you overall. Boundaries are cruel, their empowering and make relationships that are meant to last stronger.
Your own bullshit may come up as, “I don’t have to set a boundary, it’s fine, really! I can put them first and still take care of me.” I’d question that voice and invite a new one in, one that break those old patterns. Here are some scripts that might be helpful in your personal and professional relationships where you are learning to ask questions, and not bypass your feelings:
- If your boss is asking you to do more tasks, but you already have a lot to do: “I understand you need help with (insert task); while at the same time I have these tasks to do (insert tasks). Can you share with me what’s a priority and what tasks I can push back?”
- If your parents want you to attend something, but you can’t for whatever reason: “I already have scheduled plans. Next time, would you mind providing a more advanced notice like a month ahead when you need something?”
- If you are a CEO, and you want to create healthy boundaries with team members so they don’t overwork: “Hey, I know it’s the summer season, so can you let me know what your work hours are ahead of time, or how much time in advance you need to work on projects so I can respect your time?”
- A great book on boundaries for other difficult conversations, Set Boundaries, Find Peace.
- Quotes to live by
Who doesn’t love a quote that sees us at times!
Here are some quotes on getting over your own bullsh*t that you might find helpful:
“No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
“Freedom begins the moment you realize someone else has been writing your story and it’s time you took the pen from his hand and started writing it yourself.”
― Bill Moyers
“What you resist, persists. If you take ownership and deal with things that are bothering you, then, in the very process of dealing with them they very often will go away.”
— Anonymous
Wanting to learn more about how your own bullshit can shape your reality — and maybe even be hindering your business goals?
If you would like further support in your career, business, or leadership, my team and I would love to support you in creating a sustainable life! You can schedule a 30-minute legacy business or career review call with me to see if it’s a good fit to work together, and you’ll receive 3 action-items from me.
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