Questioning everything? Welcome to your midlife crisis.
Nobody Warns You The Wake-Up Call Looks Like This
The big sign? It wasn’t me getting a sports car, it was me finishing my master’s back in 2017. Sure, I had my dream job, but I realized I wanted to start this coaching business instead.
And just when I thought I was done with my first crisis. No…Then 2021 happened and I lost both of my grandmothers. Despite my business doing well based on revenue, I was burned out and grieving. And it was that grief that actually made me change my business.
Because if I had to be honest, a mental health flag I’d been sprinting past for years. I even remember back in 2019 when I was sleeping in bed all day cause I was running off cortisol.
None of that looked like a crisis from the outside. From the inside it was unfortunately an external event like:
- Getting my Masters realizing I wanted more
- Me being in bed all day couldn’t wake up cause I was burned out
- And both my grandmothers passing away realizing my identity is more than my work
That’s what a midlife crisis actually is, what’s important is what to do about it.
You can check out my podcast, “Identity Crisis: How to Realign Your Career with Your Life.”
And because of the popularity with this podcast episode, it turned into a LinkedIn course that you can check out here!
What’s Actually Going On (It’s Not Just “Middle Age Being Dramatic”)
Middle age comes with a real shift in your brain. Your prefrontal cortex gets sharper at seeing the big picture right around the same time your nervous system stops tolerating things it used to just quietly absorb. Yay being older! So your brain is finally telling the truth.
| What you’re feeling | What’s actually happening | What it is NOT |
|---|---|---|
| Restless in a life that “looks successful” | Your nervous system flagging misalignment it used to put up with | Ingratitude |
| Can’t stop sleeping, can’t get moving | Burnout, your system shutting down after too long overperforming | Laziness |
| Sudden urge to quit or blow it all up | Your gut recalibrating around what’s actually true now | A phase you just wait out |
| A loss triggers a huge life change | Mortality making you stop postponing | An overreaction |
What Those Moments Actually Led To
| The moment | What it looked like at the time | What it actually led to |
|---|---|---|
| Finishing my master’s | Standing in a “dream job,” dream business, and feeling nothing but done | Facing that success and love for the work aren’t the same thing, and giving myself permission to leave |
| Losing both grandmothers, close together | Grief, quiet, no dramatic breakdown | The push to actually change my business instead of just complaining about it privately |
Where Coaching Fits Alongside Therapy
I want to be really clear about this: therapy and coaching aren’t the same thing. If you’re dealing with trauma, a diagnosable condition, or anything clinical, please work with a licensed therapist. That’s not me covering myself, that’s genuinely the right support for that work.
What I do is different. I work with the part of you that’s already stable enough to build, but stuck on what to build next. Nervous system regulation, business alignment, figuring out what you actually want your work and your life to look like now. A lot of my clients are in therapy and coaching with me at the same time, and it works well specifically because we’re not doing the same job.
Want to know the difference? Here’s a table or check out this podcast episode I recorded on therapy vs. coaching with a therapist.
| What it’s built for | Who it’s right for | |
|---|---|---|
| Therapy | Processing, healing, clinical support | Anyone, honestly, and especially if something clinical is present |
| Working with me | Rebuilding your business and life around what’s actually true now | People who are stable and ready to build, not in crisis unsure if they should stay, quit or pivot |
And I’ll be honest, if you only have the budget for one, I highly recommend looking for a therapist over a coach like me.
And if you are considering working with me as a coach, here’s the receipts
- ICF PCC (Professional Certified Coach) credential
- IFS Foundations for Coaches™ graduate training
- Bachelor’s degree in Cognitive Sciences
- Built 30+ courses with USC, Brown, Duke, Johns Hopkins, and Penn
- Coached 20,000+ clients across Fortune 500 companies, government agencies, and universities
- LA Weekly’s #1 Thought Leader
Here’s the whole point, fast: you don’t have to blow up your entire life to fix it. You need structure for hearing what your body is already telling you, and support actually using it, before your body forces the issue for you.
Book a discovery conversation with me. No pitch deck, no pressure. Just an honest look at where you’re at.
And if you had to choose between therapy vs. coaching, I suggest therapy. Therapy has changed my own life and you can find one at psychologytoday.com
Questions Worth Actually Sitting With
What are you tolerating right now that you’d never tell a client, a friend, or your own kid to just put up with? What would you build if you weren’t so worried about disappointing the version of you from ten years ago?
FAQ
Is a midlife crisis the same thing as a mental health issue?
Not automatically, but it can surface one you’ve been quietly managing. If sleep, mood, or motivation are seriously off, pair this work with a licensed mental health provider. Coaching and therapy aren’t competing, they’re teammates.
What actually counts as middle age?
Roughly late 30s through mid 50s, but this isn’t really about a birthday. It’s triggered by everything you’ve been ignoring, finally reaching capacity.
Do I have to quit my job or leave my relationship?
Rarely, and never step one. Most people need realignment, not demolition. Get grounded first, before anything irreversible.
How long does this actually last?
Left unstructured, years. With a real framework, most people feel the shift within a few months.
Can I do this if I'm already in therapy?
Yes. Honestly my best clients are those who do BOTH therapy and coaching. There are different modalities of therapy and EMDR has changed my life.
