Internal Family Systems Coach
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Do you feel like you’re proving something?
Are you tired of spending lunch with your laptop? Wish your team knew what they had to do without you with the right systems?
What if I told you that you can create a business where you can have lunch without a screen, or team members messaging you and actually be at peace?
Hi, I’m Elaine Lou Cartas. I’m a Business and Career Coach for women of color (WOC) and allies, specializing in helping recovering perfectionist leaders and their high-performing teams implement systems that work, improve team dynamics, and simplify workloads to hit their long term goals.
MSN awarded me as the top business coach of 2024, Apple News recognized me as one of the top 5 business coaches in the world, and LA Weekly awarded me as the #1 Thought Leader for my Conscious Conversations® framework.
My leadership insights have been featured in Forbes, Business Insider, Money Magazine, Huffpost and MSN. In addition, I also have online courses with LinkedIn, Duke, Brown, John Hopkins, USC and 30+ more universities.
My Approach
I was the first-born in this country, America. As the oldest daughter I had to navigate my Filipino immigrant family and help show the way to my younger brothers. Because of this I am hypervigilant noticing every single move, tone and it does trigger me.
With my Dad, grandma and great-grandpa who immigrated to the United States as farmers
This has shown me growing up studying a lot, getting straight A’s and not learning and honoring my voice until my mid/late 20s to leave a toxic industry and start my own business.
I felt like there were different parts / voices that has always taken over, and not all being acknowledged.
That same instinct is why Internal Family Systems makes sense to me. IFS is built on one idea: your mind isn’t one voice, it’s an internal family of parts, each one trying to protect you, each one running an old job.
I learned this the hard way in my own business. For years I built it from the part of me that needed to perform to prove I was enough by saying yes to everything. That part wasn’t wrong to try and protect me. It just wasn’t sustainable, and it wasn’t running the show as well as I thought. My business actually grew the moment I stopped managing the posts, likes and comments and started working on what was actually blocking me.
I also want to say this plainly, because it matters: mental health is not something to push aside to be productive. If any of this stirs something bigger than a leadership pattern, please talk to a licensed therapist. I’ll say that more than once on this page, on purpose.
Sound Familiar?
The version of you in the boardroom disappears the moment you're alone with a hard decision or conversation.
You built your career proving something to someone who isn't even in the room anymore, maybe it’s that work bully? Someone that said you weren’t going to make it.
Your team gets your most reactive self on your worst days, and you know you have to work on this.
You've read every leadership book, and still react the same way under pressure cause the reality? You need to actually DO THE WORK.
None of that means something is wrong with you. It means a part of you were rewarded maybe being the “good girl” and it’s time to challenge things.
Coaching or Therapy? Here’s How to Tell
I want to make sure you make the right decision and more importantly receive the right support. I share what’s the difference between coaching with me VS. IFS therapy.
| Business & Executive Coaching With Me | IFS Therapy | |
|---|---|---|
| For | Leadership patterns, decisions, performance under pressure | Trauma processing, diagnoses, clinical healing |
| Who provides it | Coach, ICF-credentialed, trained in IFS through the IFS Institute | Licensed therapist trained in clinical IFS |
| Focus | The present: how your parts show up at work | The root: past wounds, treated clinically |
| Find it | Book a Call | psychologytoday.com → search “Internal Family Systems” → filter to therapists near you |
If you read the right column and thought “that’s me” — please go book that instead. I’d rather lose you as a client than have you in the wrong room.
What Working Together Looks Like
Parts-mapping: Name the pattern that hijacks you in plain language, not clinical-speak
Real-time work: We use what’s actually happening in your work right now
Support between sessions: A hard moment doesn’t have to wait for the calendar. I’m available for my clients 24/5 (not Friday nights and weekends)
A private space: Since I am trauma-informed certified as well, I care about creating a safe space for you
Meet Your Extreme Roles
| IFS Term | Plain English | Sounds Like |
|---|---|---|
| Manager | Controls and preps to prevent pain | “If I just work harder, it won’t go wrong.” |
| Firefighter | Reacts fast to kill discomfort now | “Fix it. Now. Whatever it takes.” |
| Exile | The younger part carrying the original hurt | “I’m not enough. I have to prove it.” |
None of them are the problem. The problem is when they’re driving instead of riding along.
Investment
Business & Executive Coaching, Trained in IFS Custom quote based on your goals and scope.
We’ll talk through what’s actually driving your pattern before you spend a dollar.
About Me
Certified Executive Coach (ICF PCC), creator of Conscious Conversations®, Business & Executive Coach trained in IFS through the IFS Institute’s ICF-approved Foundations for Coaches program. Bachelor’s in Cognitive Sciences, UC Irvine. Master’s in Leadership and Management, University of La Verne.
I’ve taken this thinking into rooms with Fortune 500 leaders, onto a stage in Dubai in front of 10,000+ AI founders, and into an Amazon leadership conference where I did a keynote, and a scheduling gap turned into a live facilitation; and four new clients. Every one of those moments came down to the same thing: knowing which part of me was talking, and choosing to lead from the calm one anyway.
Is This For You?
Good fit if:
✅ You’re successful but privately exhausted by your own patterns
✅ You react the same way under pressure and you’re ready to know why
✅ You want depth and speed
✅ You want your team to get your best self, not your most extreme one
Not a fit if:
🚫 You’re managing a mental health condition that needs licensed clinical care, please start there: psychologytoday.com
🚫 You want tactics only, no interest in what’s underneath them
Ready to Lead From Your Full Self, Not From Survival?
FAQs
Is this therapy?
No. I don’t diagnose or treat mental health conditions. Check the coaching-vs-therapy table above if you need clinical support, please go to psychologytoday.com and find a licensed IFS therapist.
Is IFS actually backed by research?
Yes, IFS has a growing evidence base in family therapy and clinical research, including recognition as an evidence-based practice for trauma-related work. I use the coaching adaptation, built for leadership, not clinical treatment.
I haven't experienced big "trauma,” can this still help me?
Yes. Most of my clients aren’t in crisis. They’re high-functioning and ready to stop leading on autopilot; however, what I do find are clients who have gone to therapy or going to therapy right now who do well.
How is this different from family therapy?
Family systems and family therapy work is clinical, longer-term, and delivered by a licensed clinician. This is shorter, present-focused, and built for people running businesses and teams.
How fast will I see results?
Most clients notice the pattern within a couple of sessions. Real change builds at your pace and honesty, not a fixed number of sessions.
Are you scale your business and create your legacy?
Schedule a call with me.
And in 30 minutes, receive 3 action-items towards your business goals.
My advice has been featured on Business Insider and Vital Proteins twice.
✋🏻 Hold up! Wait a minute!
You just got to the end, Legacy Maker!
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