Realtalk: 95% of employees say boundaries at work matter for their wellbeing, but do we actually practice it?
Why practice it? So we can enjoy being a human like:
- Watching sunsets outside of YouTube
- Laughing with no screens at the dinner table
- Riding a bike that’s not Peloton
You know, enjoying life.
The Story I Don’t Tell Enough
Throughout my 20s, my whole identity was work. When I got asked to stay after hours to work, I did.I actually felt proud that I didn’t have a personal life, like being exhausted meant I was serious about my career.
Then came the family party. I was on my laptop at a weekend gathering when my brother yelled, “Why are you working right now?” I stormed off crying. That was the moment I realized I had zero boundaries. Not with clients, not with myself, not even at a party. That’s the work I teach now.
What a Boundary Actually Is
A boundary isn’t a wall you build to keep people out. It’s an emotional boundary, a felt sense of protecting other aspects of your life that you love like being a parent, an aunt or uncle, or enjoying hobbies or being a good friend. A boundary protects your ability to honor your whole self as a human and different parts.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, feeling pressured to always say yes, or work is bleeding into every hour you’re awake, that’s not a productivity problem. That’s a boundary problem.
Even things we love need one. I love chocolate, one little piece is a treat, the whole bar everyday is a stomachache.
Same with work. You can genuinely love your job and still need a limit. Even athletes and musicians aren’t constantly playing; they need rest days. The Olympics happen every 4 years afterall.
Why This Matters More Now
Preventing burnout isn’t some wellness trend, it’s strategy. There’s research on the “incubation effect” showing people who took a break mid-problem came back with more than double the ideas of people who pushed through. For example, I get the best ideas when I shower or walk. We need our left side of the brain, the logical side to take a break.
Boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re strategic.
| Without Boundaries | With Boundaries |
|---|---|
| Emails at 10pm "to stay ahead" | Working hours end, phone down |
| Saying yes out of fear | Saying yes from choice |
| Professional and personal blur together | Professional and personal have clear edges |
| Burnout, resentment | Reduce stress, sustainable output |
| Identity = job | Identity = whole person |
How to Start Small
You don’t need to quit or send a dramatic email. Start small, and protect your time energy one hour at a time.
- Pick one working hour to protect. Maybe 6-7pm, phone away in another room
- Say it out loud once. “I’m offline after 6.” And if you want to hold yourself accountable tell a friend or your partner.
- Notice the guilt, don’t obey it. Guilt is a nervous system response, not proof you did something wrong.
- Repeat for a week. Boundaries build through repetition, then it becomes a habit.
Your nervous system learns safety through small, consistent proof, not one big Amazon prime overhaul.
What You Actually Get Back
Picture:
- Being a better daughter or son, parent, sibling, not cause you tried harder but cause you weren’t depleted anymore.
- Walking around your neighborhood not listening to music or a podcast and realizing you have beautiful trees and flowers around
- Being at a restaurant and seeing the joy kids have laughing
That’s not wasted time, that’s the whole point. A boundary at work protects your ability to actually show up presently in your life.
Why a Boundaries Coach Over a Time-Management Hack?
Your calendar isn’t the problem. Your relationship to your worth is.
- I hold an ICF PCC credential, a degree in Cognitive Sciences, and completed IFS Foundations for Coaches™ Graduate training, so it’s grounded in how your nervous system actually forms patterns.
- I’ve coached inside Amazon, the City of Los Angeles, Ritz-Carlton, and Marriott
- Built Conscious Conversations® over nine years into a framework used by 20,000+ clients.
- LA Weekly named me their #1 Thought Leader.
But honestly, I learned boundaries storming off crying at a family party, not from a textbook. Similar to working out to let’s say “get better arms” I had to work out not working all the time.
FAQ
What's the difference between a boundary and being difficult?
A boundary protects your capacity to keep showing up healthy. “Difficult” is a fear projection from someone who benefited from you not having one.
How do I set boundaries without seeming uncommitted?
Name the boundary, not the excuse. “I’m offline after 6” is a full sentence.
Do boundaries actually reduce stress?
Yes, and it’s measurable. Clear boundaries protect your mental health and support real work life balance, not just the appearance of it.
What if my workplace culture doesn't support boundaries at work?
Start with the 1 hour you control. Culture shifts follow individual proof.
Ready to Actually Feel It?
You don’t need another framework you’ll abandon in two weeks.
Book your 30-minute Career or Leadership Review Call, let’s find the one boundary that changes everything else and you’ll see your life change.
Need to check out my 300+ client reviews first? Here they are on: LinkedIn, Google, Youtube & My Website
